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We all have a type; you just may not know what yours is.

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Couples therapist Harville Hendrix, author of the classic relationship self-help book Getting the Love You Want, says we tend to look for partners who feel familiar to us — because they hurt us the same way our parents did.

In other words, obes look for someone with the same deficits of care and attention that hurt us in the first place.

You just have to be willing to put in the work of resolving those old struggles before you can achieve a lasting, loving bond that will ultimately be everything you want. Otherwise, you might just push that person away when he comes along.

Falling in love is scary. Opening yourself up to someone and showing them who you really are, and asking them to love you, is a huge risk.

You might end up getting hurt. Ugys know people who swear by this: make a list of all the qualities you want in a partner, focus on the list, believe in the list, and that person will appear.

Are you looking for someone who values honesty above all llove and never even tells a white lie? Is it important to you that your partner shares your enthusiasm for running marathons, or reading, or traveling the globe?

So write it down and be clear about your goals for a relationship. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement.

Here are seven common things you could gys doing that cause you Why do guys hurt the ones they love keep getting hurt… 1. You go for the wrong guys We thwy have a type; you just may not know what yours is. You seek out the familiar Couples therapist Harville Hendrix, author of the classic relationship self-help book Getting the Love You Want, says we tend to look for partners who feel familiar to us — because they hurt us the Classified pet ads way our parents did.

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